You will need the following: 1. A T-Shirt 2. A Black Cat 3. An Iron The cat may want to get away. If this is the case use the iron to knock it out. You may also have to break the cat’s leg to get the positioning just right. Wear your t-shirt with pride!
Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school. 1970 – Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best mates. 2017 – Police are called, Armed Response Unit arrives and arrests Johnny and Mark. Mobiles with video of fight confiscated as evidence. They are charged with assault, ASBOs […]
Fuck is an obscene English-language word, which refers to the act of sexual intercourse and is also commonly used as an intensifier or to denote disdain. Its origin is obscure but is usually considered to be first attested to around 1475, although it may be considerably older. In modern usage, the term fuck and its […]
Theresa May has asked MPs to back her plan to destroy Alderaan, insisting it is the only way to defeat the Rebel Alliance. With a debate at the Houses of Parliament expected to last all day, the new prime minister insists the case for destroying Alderaan is clear, despite opponents who claim innocent lives will […]
I just read an article on the dangers of drinking…. Scared the shit out of me. So that’s it! After today, no more reading.
There’s an annual contest at the Griffith University in Australia, calling for the appropriate definition of a contemporary term. A few years ago, the term was ‘political correctness’. The winning student wrote: Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rapidly promoted by mainstream media, which hold forth the proposition that […]
It was my daughter’s birthday last week and she shares it with the hardest man in the world. Some Chuck Norris facts you may not know:- When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris. There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because […]
“The budget should be balanced, the Treasury should be refilled, public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be tempered and controlled, and the assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed lest Rome become bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance”. So said Cicero in the […]
Mary is the proprietor of a bar in Dublin . She realizes that virtually all of her customers are unemployed alcoholics and, as such, can no longer afford to patronise her bar. To solve this problem, she comes up with a new marketing plan that allows her customers to drink now, but pay later. She […]
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies […]