We all know how we got in this credit mess and you would think the banks would be, at least slightly, embarrassed about the whole thing and try to avoid annoying their customers by ripping them off. You would think!

NatWest, in their ultimate wisdom, now take the interest on overdrafts two week earlier each month than they have done for the last ten years. Apparently all customers received a booklet in January explaining this. Well I didn’t. I have also been informed that they put this all over their statements, but I bank on-line with paper-less statements (on their recommendation). Therefore NatWest took money from my account without my knowledge and have sent me over my overdraft limit. This will cost me £28 in charges. This is nothing short of theft.

When I phoned to complain I was informed by a sanctimonious NatWest robot that this was done to help all customers. Hmm! Yes please, NatWest, take money from my account earlier I insist! What a load of bankers! They took this decision on a purely commercial, money grabbing basis and bollocks to their customers.

Tags: Banks, Bollocks, Commercial Money, Last Ten Years, Natwest, Overdraft, Robot, Ultimate Wisdom

GORDON Brown last night dismissed calls to surrender his £123,000 a year pension when he is forced to stop being prime minister next June.

Mr Brown was defiant in the face of City outrage despite the UK government’s annual operating loss of £100bn, rising to £1.5 trillion when the write-down of its banking assets is taken into account.

The prime minister said: “I’ve been building up this pension since I became an MP, it’s all completely legal and now you want to take it away because I’ve been catastrophically bad at my job and you’re looking for a scapegoat. What gives?”

He added: “Yes I’ve been in charge of financial regulation for 12 years, yes I encouraged the housing bubble, and yes I pissed billions up the wall giving pointless jobs to Labour voters, but I fail to see what any of this has to do with me being incredibly well off.”

Brown’s £3m pension pot is expected to cast the spotlight on the extravagant retirement packages of other failed politicians including Alistair Darling’s inexplicable £1.7m and the £1.5m awarded to John Prescott for being a national disgrace for 10 years.

Meanwhile Margaret Beckett has a fund worth £1.7m, and Tessa Jowell has £1m even though no-one has the faintest idea what either of these actually do.

Critics insist Mr Brown has a moral duty to hand back his pension fund as he will inevitably receive a multi-million pound advance for two volumes of eye-gougingly tedious memoirs which will end up in the bargain bucket at WH Smith within a fortnight.

Martin Bishop, head of pension rows at the Institute for Studies, said: “It’s a fascinating dynamic. The politicians blame the bankers, the bankers blame the politicians, and the ordinary taxpayer is down on all fours with a confused look on his face, being fucked at both ends.”

Tags: Alistair Darling, All Fours, Bargain Bucket, City Outrage, Faintest Idea, Gordon Brown, Housing Bubble, John Prescott, Labour Voters, Margaret Beckett, Martin Bishop, Moral Duty, Mr Brown, National Disgrace, Pension Fund, Pension Pot, Retirement Packages, Scapegoat, Tessa Jowell, Wh Smith

I wish I had paid more attention in my Economic lessons because then I might have some understanding on what this ‘credit crunch’ thing is all about. In a nutshell I believe the problem was that Banks around the world (mainly in the US) lent money to people who had no way of paying it back. The Banks then got into trouble and Joe Public bailed them out. Now they wont lend to anyone.
Governments around the World are now trying to kick start economies that are in recession. But, and this is the big but, how can these morons in Whitehall or in the Bank if England possibly have any idea of what hardship is, how can they possibly come up with a plan to get ordinary people spending again. Of course! drop VAT by 2.5% – great – that new plasma TV I wanted has come down to £750 – I’ll get two! Did the Chancelor really think that would help? The sad answer to that is ‘yes he did’ which shows what a complete brainless moron he is. I would like to point out at this stage that I hold Alastair Darling in much higher regard than George Osborne and Vince Cable.
Tell me if I am being over simplistic and an idiot but the people who get an economy out of a recession is the consumer (you and me). So surely the only way out of this is to make sure we have more money. Drop interest rates – good idea, but bloody useless if the Banks (which we now own) don’t pass on the savings. We used to have a mortgage rate of 1-1.5% over base rate. Two years ago with inflation and interest rates going up, myself and Mrs Moose fixed our mortgage at a good rate of 6.5%, we thought we were being prudent.
So if Brown and Darling want to help the consumer they need to follow the Moose Plan, as follows:

• Get the banks (we own) to pass on the interest rates to us with no penalties. (Don’t ask – Order them!)

• Wholesale gas is now down to 2006 levels – force the utility companies to pass on these savings.

• Freeze Council Tax – It can’t go up in line with inflation (there is none) as is the excuse each year.

• The last time a barrel of oil was this cheap (comparatively) unleaded fuel was under 75p a litre. Someone, somewhere is profiteering.

• Sort out credit card and overdraft interest rates – I am paying more on these now than I was last year. How can this be allowed to happen?

• Hold up the people that got us in this mess to public ridicule. Bring back the stocks!

This would give the average household anywhere from £150 – £500 per month extra to spend at struggling businesses. Struggling businesses would then have money to spend with other businesses. We might even put some of the extra money in the bank – you never know.
It all starts with the consumer and doing it this way would cost the Government time but very little money.
I now this is very simplistic but what else do you need to do?

Tags: Brainless, Chancelor, Credit Crunch, Darling, Drop Interest Rates, Economic Lessons, Excuse, George Osborne, Inflation, Inflation Rates, Joe Public, Last Time, Money Drop, Morons, Mortgage Rate, Nutshell, Ordinary People, Plasma Tv, Recession, Vince Cable, Whitehall, Wholesale Gas

I hear that banks controlled by the public which do not lend the public money to the public will have to pay a fine using public money.

Ministers, in their ultimate wisdom, believe the only way to get the credit system moving again is to give billions of pounds to the banking sector and then threaten to take it back from them, bit by bit, in multi-million pound fines.

Chancellor Alistair Darling said: “We will use the money raised from the fines to recapitalise those banks that have been forced to pay very heavy fines. The banks must then use that money for lending and if they don’t they will be fined. We will then use the money raised from those fines to recapitalise the banks that have been fined and if they don’t lend that money they will be fined. Again.” Glad that cleared things up!

Mr Darling went on to say that those fines would then be used to recapitalise the banks that had been fined, before he was interrupted by a senior Treasury official. The chancellor was then wheeled into the corner of the room where a heavy woollen blanket was draped over his head.

Now, by all means please do stop me if I’m being a total and utter idiot, but if we control the banks and we know what the banks are supposed to do, why can’t we just tell them to do it?

Tags: Alistair Darling, Banking Sector, Banks, Chancellor, Credit Crunch, Mr Darling, Public Money, Treasury Official